Muffin Man

I spent my night baking muffins. Because that seemed like the right thing to do. Distractions, etc. And now I have Frank Zappa stuck in my head.

Some people like cupcakes better, I for one care less for them.

...

Some people...some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say

there is naught, nor ought there be, nothing so exalted on the face of god's grey Earth as that prince of foods...the muffin!

Girl, you thought he was a man

But he was a muffin

He hung around till you found

That he didn't know nothin'

I went the savory route, made two batches of apple-cheddar muffins. Om nom nom. We'll see how they go over tomorrow. Next time: potato muffins.

Lovely and soothing is the sound of rain against the house. The only thing missing is the sound of a train in the distance, (the subways don't sound the same, they don't have that wonderful blow that trains do) and I'm transported west when I close my eyes.

Leave it to Jane

I can't believe I remember the words to these songs, it's been twelve years after all. Leave it to Jane has the silliest (and most wonderful) lyrics. Observe:

Wait 'til Tomorrow:
So many boys I see come making love to me
Some young some older
Some shy some bolder
They yearn they've often said
For me to rest my head
Upon their shoulder
Ah well perhaps I may, but not today

So wait, wait wait, till tomorrow
And should it chance that tomorrow
My love's no stronger
Then just wait a little longer
Please oh please do not worry
You know there's really no hurry
So cheer up you'll hear from me tomorrow, maybe

...

The Siren's Song:

Now long years have passed away
Sirens are a myth they say
But you will find them nonetheless
Singing today in modern dress
Just the same they set their snare
Sweetly smiling false and fair
Turn a deaf ear when they are near
Or upon the reef, you'll come to grief

[Come to us...]

Cleopatterer:

I'd be like Cleopatterer if I could have my way
Each man she met she went and kissed
And she'd dozens on her waiting list
I wish that I had been there
Beside the pyramid
For a girl today don't get the scope that Cleopatterer did!

...

The Crickets Are Calling:

The crickets are calling you must obey
There is naught gained by waiting
So what's the use of hesitating
Danger defying have done with delay
That's what they are trying to say

...

The crickets are calling enjoy today
Never mind what comes after
For youth was made for love and laughter
Time's always flying be glad while you may
That's what they are trying to say

Opening Act Two:

I don't want to make a fuss
Still it's pretty hard on us
Watching from a distant seat
While they rush you off your feet
Oh my goodness it's a shame
That we can't get in the game
I'd have bucked that line with joy
If I'd only been a boy!

If she'd only been a boy
If she'd only been a boy!
If she'd only been a boy!

Oh gee a girl sure plucked a lemon
In being born so weak and feminine
She's no use she's no excuse
For living that I can see
She can never be a quarterback
Wearing corsets to support her back
All that stuff is mighty tough for girls like me

[Repeat with Old Atwater]

Sir Galahad:

The days of chivalry are dead
Of which in stories we have read
When knights were bold and acted kinda scrappy
When guys would take a lot of pains
And fight all day to please the Janes
And if their dame was tickled they was happy
But now the men are mild and meak
They seem to have a yellow streak
They never wait for other gents to flatten them
They think they've done a darn fine thing
If they just buy the girl a ring
Of imitation diamonds and platinum!

It makes me sort of sad
To read about Sir Galahad
And all the knights of that romantic day
To amuse a girl and charm her
They would get into their armor
And jump into the fray
They called her Lady Love
They used to wear her little glove
And everything that she said went
For them was the days when a lady was a lady and a gent was a perfect gent

Engine Heart

Oh, were it to stop
My tick tock, tick tock clock
Oh, were it to stop
Beat beat beat
Beat beat beat
Sleep sleep sleep
Sleep

Crop Circles Explained!

Wallabies: Hopping through the Poppies (and hopped up on them, too!)

Excerpt:

Wallabies are getting stoned on poppies and are making their own crop circles as they lose all sense of balance and direction.

The extraordinary scenes are being played out in officially-operated poppy fields in Tasmania, the large island state south of the Australian continent and which is the world's largest producer of legally-grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.

Tasmania's Attorney-General, Lara Giddings, said the wallabies were getting so stoned after hopping into the poppy fields and chewing the heads of plants that they ended up hopping around in circles.

'While doing this, they squash the poppies and create circles in the fields.'

She reported the bizarre scenes to a State's Budget Estimates hearing.

'They get as high as a kite and go around in circles and then they crash, ' she said.

'We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.'

Mr Rick Rockliff, a manager of one of the fields said the problem extended beyond wallabies - wildlife and livestock which ate the poppies were also known to 'act weird', including deer and sheep.

Something about "hopping through the poppies" brings me back to this:

Tiptoe through the window
By the window, that is where I'll be
Come tiptoe through the tulips with me

Oh, tiptoe from the garden
By the garden of the willow tree
And tiptoe through the tulips with me

Knee deep in flowers we'll stray
We'll keep the showers away
And if I kiss you in the garden, in the moonlight
Will you pardon me?
And tiptoe through the tulips with me

I kinda wish this shmuck on the right would let Tiny Tim have one bloody frame to himself though.

Nothing

Make yourself at home, 'cause I'm going out
Across the street to get us some water
'cause this water's brown, and I'm so embarrassed
To have you here but I want you around

Usually I'd sing, or play you my guitar
But I know it won't get very far with you
'cause you like music that makes you move
And mine has a groove, but it's nothing I can prove

Please know what I mean
When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing

When I say

Things that I buy and things that I think
Haven't made this a better place to be
Drugs that I try and drinks that I drink
Haven't made this a better place to be

It's still just a room with the drums in the middle
A couch along the wall that works as my bed
I still have a phone that rings all day
I still have things I wish I woulda said

Please know what I mean
When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing
When I say

This whole thing's been hard on me
It breaks my heart, do you know what that means

My new place seems strange to me
It breaks my heart, do you know what that means
It means nothing

So make yourself at home, 'cause I'm going out
Across the street to get us some water
'cause this water's brown, and I'm so embarrassed
To have you here but I want you around

Usually I'd sing, or play you my guitar
But I know it won't get very far with you
'cause you like music that makes you move
And mine has a groove, but it's nothing I can prove

Please know what I mean
When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing

When I say, nothing

When I say

This whole thing's been hard on me
It breaks my heart, do you know what that means

My new place seems strange to me
It breaks my heart, do you know what that means
It means nothing