Thursday, December 31, 2009

Leave it to Jane

I can't believe I remember the words to these songs, it's been twelve years after all. Leave it to Jane has the silliest (and most wonderful) lyrics. Observe:

Wait 'til Tomorrow:
So many boys I see come making love to me
Some young some older
Some shy some bolder
They yearn they've often said
For me to rest my head
Upon their shoulder
Ah well perhaps I may, but not today

So wait, wait wait, till tomorrow
And should it chance that tomorrow
My love's no stronger
Then just wait a little longer
Please oh please do not worry
You know there's really no hurry
So cheer up you'll hear from me tomorrow, maybe


The Siren's Song:

Now long years have passed away
Sirens are a myth they say
But you will find them nonetheless
Singing today in modern dress
Just the same they set their snare
Sweetly smiling false and fair
Turn a deaf ear when they are near
Or upon the reef, you'll come to grief

[Come to us...]


I'd be like Cleopatterer if I could have my way
Each man she met she went and kissed
And she'd dozens on her waiting list
I wish that I had been there
Beside the pyramid
For a girl today don't get the scope that Cleopatterer did!


The Crickets Are Calling:

The crickets are calling you must obey
There is naught gained by waiting
So what's the use of hesitating
Danger defying have done with delay
That's what they are trying to say


The crickets are calling enjoy today
Never mind what comes after
For youth was made for love and laughter
Time's always flying be glad while you may
That's what they are trying to say

Opening Act Two:

I don't want to make a fuss
Still it's pretty hard on us
Watching from a distant seat
While they rush you off your feet
Oh my goodness it's a shame
That we can't get in the game
I'd have bucked that line with joy
If I'd only been a boy!

If she'd only been a boy
If she'd only been a boy!
If she'd only been a boy!

Oh gee a girl sure plucked a lemon
In being born so weak and feminine
She's no use she's no excuse
For living that I can see
She can never be a quarterback
Wearing corsets to support her back
All that stuff is mighty tough for girls like me

[Repeat with Old Atwater]

Sir Galahad:

The days of chivalry are dead
Of which in stories we have read
When knights were bold and acted kinda scrappy
When guys would take a lot of pains
And fight all day to please the Janes
And if their dame was tickled they was happy
But now the men are mild and meak
They seem to have a yellow streak
They never wait for other gents to flatten them
They think they've done a darn fine thing
If they just buy the girl a ring
Of imitation diamonds and platinum!

It makes me sort of sad
To read about Sir Galahad
And all the knights of that romantic day
To amuse a girl and charm her
They would get into their armor
And jump into the fray
They called her Lady Love
They used to wear her little glove
And everything that she said went
For them was the days when a lady was a lady and a gent was a perfect gent

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Shit's going down

Obama Curbs Secrecy of Classified Documents
He's keeping on his word on this one, that's damn sure. No more secrets!

And this scares the crap out of me:
Iran Reportedly Seeking Uranium From Kazakhstan

New Airport Scanners Described As 'Intrusive'
These are the machines they have already in Europe. The screenings at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam are among the most, for lack of a better word at the moment, intense in the EU. The United States specifically told Amsterdam NOT to use these machines on any planes bound for the US, as it would be too intrusive. What's with these bloody Americans and their privacy. Europe's doing it, did anyone almost blow up a plane over a European city on Christmas Day? No? Hm, look at that. Obviously there's more to it than just the machines that the system did not work, but really, stupid move, not letting outbound flights to the US from Amsterdam use this technology when they use it for every other outbound flight.

Monday, December 21, 2009